


ppt

by beeseven



Category: GOT7
Genre: ? - Freeform, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pining, again i guess :xxxx, for once he is the one whipped at least i think so, whipped youngjae
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:27:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28029276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beeseven/pseuds/beeseven
Summary: Jaebeom presses a button and low music starts playing, slides showing on the TV screen. A light pink background with huge black words that are almost yelling at Youngjae. The boy has a hard time reading it, but when he finally manages to he ends up shocking on nothing.‘Why Youngae Should Fuck Jaebeom (and why he would enjoy doing it)’.It's what the slide says.Or it’s Jaebeom’s birthday and he only wants one gift from his best friend.
Relationships: Choi Youngjae/Im Jaebum | JB
Comments: 16
Kudos: 74





	ppt

**Author's Note:**

  * For [flrsdumal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flrsdumal/gifts).



> or because of flrsdumal who keeps talking about gays i can't take it anymore stop that 😖😖😖 but hummm read this
> 
> to everyone else: pls enjoy

The first time Youngjae spent Jaebeom’s birthday with him it was when the other boy turned 10. It wasn’t anything special, Jaebeom’s parents just bought him a cake and he was allowed to invite a few close friends, they ate the cake and then they played video games. After everyone left Youngjae stayed behind, since they were neighbors he could go home later than everyone else. 

Again, it was nothing special, still, Youngjae has a vivid memory of that day. Every single detail, he thinks he can even recall Jaebeom’s clothes, he can for sure recall the boy’s face when Youngjae gifted him a Tamagotchi. Youngjae felt so proud of his choice, Jaebeom was the happiest he had ever seen him, and no other gift came even closer to Youngjae’s. Jaebeom hugged him, Youngjae remembers that as well. 

The boy can remember it all so well because he just felt so honored Jaebeom invited him, it was just about three months since his family had moved to Seoul. Youngjae didn’t have many friends there other than his neighbor Jaebeom. So, Youngjae felt like he was really important and he wanted to show Jaebeom just how grateful he was. 

It was a good memory. 

And to this day Youngjae valued his friendship with Jaebeom more than anything else. Since that birthday when Youngjae promised to always be Jaebeom’s friend and be by his side, they never grew apart. They spent every single birthday together. Even now eleven years later they still stuck to it. Though Youngjae has to admit tonight he wishes they wouldn’t care so much for things like that. 

It was cold, it was always cold on Jaebeom’s birthday, nothing new. But this year it was like it was extra cold, Youngjae was sure of that as he struggled to leave his warm and fluffy bed to walk to Jaebeom’s house. He thought about making up an excuse to not go, but it would be a dick move. Since Jaebeom’s parents moved to the family’s farm and Jaebeom stayed behind, Youngjae was the only person who actually visited Jaebeom on his birthday. 

Youngjae wouldn’t say Jaebeom was all alone and abandoned like the other boy liked to say. He had spent Christmas and New Years’ with his family. He was just here for his birthday because of school and because he had to work, or he would be at the farm with his parents. Youngjae looked out the window seeing the wind blow at the three and almost cried, why couldn’t Jaebeom have stayed at the dumb farm for a few more days?

He doesn’t even bother looking presentable. Instead, he puts on every layer of fabric he can put his hands on ‘till his body becomes so heavy it’s hard to move. That should be good enough. Coco is with his parents in their room, Youngjae is bitter for not being able to say goodbye to his dog but he doesn’t want to disturb his parents. 

The boy would run to Jaebeom’s place, but it’s hard to do that with all the snow on the way. Of course, Youngjae is being a little dramatic, he only has to walk for about two minutes before he is getting inside Jaebeom’s house. But he is colder than he was when he left his own house, he feels like the few seconds it took him to get there were enough to wet his clothes and feet, never mind that they look very dry. 

“Hyung, I’m home,” Youngjae yells as he takes off his shoes and the long coat. He and Jaebeom never knock anymore, now that Jaebeom lives alone they see even fewer reasons for that. Youngjae usually doesn’t bother even announcing his arrival, but he wants to end this already so he can go back to being under his blankets. Or Jaebeom’s blankets if he can’t force himself to make his way back home.

The TV is turned on, just a blue screen and nothing else. Still, no sight of Jaebeom. Youngjae takes the TV control but before he can click anything Jaebeom is running to him and taking it off his hands. 

“What--” Youngjae can’t finish his words because when he looks up at Jaebeom is to find his best friend in a pink robe, a short silk pink robe. He wants to laugh at Jaebeom’s face, maybe he lost a bet, or maybe it’s a prank. But suddenly Youngjae’s mouth feels very dry. All he can do is stare at the way the fabric falls over Jaebeom’s broad shoulders, the way it makes him look strong but delicate at the same time. “Hum… happy birthday?”

“Thank you,” Jaebeom says back with a shy smile on his lips. Youngjae isn’t imagining it, Jaebeom is actually blushing, he is blushing still with the shy dumb smile on his lips and eyes glued to Youngjae as if he has never seen him before. 

“Here, I got you this,” he hands Jaebeom the snow globe he tried to make. It was supposed to be a Christmas gift, but Jaebeom wasn't in town. The thing turned out disastrous, Youngjae wasn’t very good at manual work. He couldn’t add the liquid inside the globe, so it was just a glitter mess and it looked worse by the second the boy stared at it. “I also got tickets for us… to see a horror movie since you enjoy it when we do that,”

Jaebeom is smiling like an idiot at him, and Youngjae is really starting to think this is a weird dream. But Jaebeom’s sweet voice sounds way too real when he wraps his arms around Youngjae to thank him, and whispers in his ear. “Thank you, the globe looks a little strange though,”

Youngjae pushes him, his entire body tingling at the sensation of Jaebeom’s hot breath hitting his skin. “It’s because I made it myself and it didn’t work out very well. There’s a gift card too,”

Youngjae made a card, an actual card, even putting it in an envelope. It was a card that gave Jaebeom the right to ask for anything he wanted from Youngjae. Jaebeom didn’t open it, Youngjae was grateful for that, he probably thought it was a gift card from the bakery the boy was working at. Before Jaebeom could hug him again and thank him once more, Youngjae took a step back to have a better look at his best friend.

“Anyways, are we going to ignore the fact that you are freezing your balls off in this… whatever is this that you are wearing?” He is trying his best to not sound like a wrecked train, but it’s really not that easy when Jaebeom looks like that for no apparent reason. 

Jaebeom blushes again, taking a step back as well so he can point at the TV, Youngjae has long forgotten about it. “That’s just something I prepared for you,”

“For me?” It really gotta be a prank. Still, Youngjae lets Jaebeom walk him to the couch, he sits alone though. Jaebeom walks up, standing near the TV. “Come on, Hyung, what is going on?”

Jaebeom doesn’t say anything back, he closes his eyes and breathes in and out for half a minute. It’s starting to freak Youngjae out, but then he opens his eyes, looks at Youngjae, and gives him a big smile. 

“Please make yourself comfortable, I’ll now start my presentation,” Youngjae rolls his eyes at his best friend. He is ready to get up and turn the TV off, he is not sitting through another of Jaebeom’s eternal rants. And this time he even worked on a presentation, Youngjae didn’t leave his warm bed for this. 

But then Jaebeom presses a button and low music starts playing, the slides start as well. A light pink background with huge black words that are almost yelling at Youngjae. The boy has a hard time reading it, but when he finally manages to he ends up shocking on nothing. 

_‘Why Youngae Should Fuck Jaebeom (and why he would enjoy doing it)’_

“So--”

“What the fuck is this, Hyung? Oh my God!” Youngjae yells mortified, his face burns and he needs to cover it with his hands. Then he starts laughing desperately, but it’s not funny, not funny at all. If it was a prank Jaebeom succeeded, he got Youngjae, but it didn’t turn out funny. “Turn this off right now, Hyung.”

“Could you please be kind enough and not interrupt the presentation? Thank you,” Jaebeom says back easily, but he doesn’t look as confident as he sounds. He presses something again and pictures of Jaebeom’s shoulders start flashing on the screen. “I have nice and broad shoulders that you seem to like very much,” 

Just as the words leave his mouth, pictures of Youngjae glued to Jaebeom’s shoulders and even being carried on them take over the screen. Youngjae feels mortified, so what if he likes Jaebeom’s shoulders? It doesn’t mean anything just that they are nice to hold. And also that they make him feel safe, which is what Jaebeom says as well, that his broad shoulder and the way he is way stronger than Youngjae can give him a good feeling of protection. 

It’s ridiculous, Youngjae is the stronger one, they are the same height, he doesn’t know why he looks so tiny near Jaebeom. But still, it’s not true. He would protest if Jaebeom didn’t just move on to his next quality. 

“I also happen to smell really good,” Youngjae is considering the statement when out of nowhere Jaebeom walks over to him and shoves his neck right in Youngjae’s face. The boy doesn’t even have time to think or to try and stop him, he can’t move away from Jaebeom so he ends up breathing his scent in. He also doesn’t mean to nuzzle at his friend’s neck.

Of course, that was not the first time Youngjae felt how Jaebeom smelled, but he thinks his best friend’s scene is particularly good tonight. He can’t even deny it, it makes him dizzy and he is even trying to sniff Jaebeom some more. 

He can see the way Jaebeom reacts to it, can see the goosebumps in his skin. Youngjae wants to touch them with his lips, luckily Jaebeom moves away going back to his initial place. 

“I think there are no objections to that,” Jaebeom’s voice is so smug, Youngjae doesn’t like that. “You would have a good time, you like my body, you like how I smell. And I think you would like being the one getting my V-card,”

“Why would you call it that,” Youngjae grows annoyed. At first, virginity was a big deal to Jaebeom. He wanted to wait for the right person, the love of his life. Then he just wanted to fuck anyone but turns out he was very picky and he would not settle for anyone, it didn’t have to be the love of his life but it had to be a decent person. Youngjae doesn’t even think that makes sense. 

Jaebeom just ignores him. 

“Now, I understand why you would be apprehensive about fucking your best friend. But I can assure you we are too connected for it to ruin things between us,” Jaebeom continues his presentation. Next are old pictures of Youngjae and Jaebeom together. Youngjae doesn’t understand how the topics change like that, but he isn’t understanding anything anyway. “Those are just a few of all the memories we made together,”

The pictures are very cute, at least the ones from when they were kids. Jaebeom would always glue his cheek to Youngjae’s whenever one of their parents would try to take a picture of them. He doesn’t do that anymore, and they aren’t as cute anymore either.

“Hyung, if this is a way you found to thank me for being your best friend or something, that’s a very strange method--” Youngjae tries ignoring the first part of this presentation. Jaebeom’s scent still lingering in his nose.

“Here you can see how we grew together, always by each other’s side,” the pictures start getting more recent, and sure enough Youngjae and Jaebeom are always by each other’s side even when there are a lot of other people with them. 

For a second Youngjae forgets the first slide and the absurd that was written on it. His heart beating a little bit faster at the memories they made together. Youngjae loves Jaebeom, he loves Jaebeom a lot. That’s the only thing in his mind when he sees a picture of 14-years-old Youngjae riding a horse with Jaebeom glued to his back to make sure Youngjae wouldn’t get hurt. 

The picture was taken just a few minutes before Jaebeom fell off the horse and broke his leg. It was scary but it was a good memory, they had fun that summer at the farm. And Youngjae had fun carrying Jaebeom everywhere even though he would complain about it non stop. 

But just then there are pictures of the summer Jaebeom went on full emo mode, he would wear only black and he was the perfect example of the angsty teen model. “Here we get proof that no matter what or who happens it the end it will always be me and you,” 

Youngjae can’t help it, he laughs out loud. Jaebeom drew a huge X over Brian’s face, there are a lot of people in the picture, their high school friends, but the only one with an X is Brian. Jaebeom hated him, he hated the boy from the start but when Brian and Youngjae started dating it became a thousand times worse. 

The boy gets distracted as he remembers the time they were out and Jaebeom and Brian started throwing food at each other, he doesn’t hear whatever Jaebeom is saying anymore. The pictures just help him realize how he only dated Brian for that summer and how Jaebeom was only acting weird for those three months. What Jaebeom said makes a bit of sense, sure Youngjae thinks he was over the top with his hatred towards his ex, but Brian didn’t like Jaebeom either. He was jealous, he wanted Youngjae to stop being friends with Jaebeom, he used to say the way they acted was weird. 

Youngjae broke up with him for this very reason, he wasn’t going to stop talking with his best friend because of a boy. So, he thinks Jaebeom is right, no matter what or who, they would always be together in the end. It didn’t mean they could fuck their friendship up because of this. They could not fuck. 

And if this is really what Jaebeom is suggesting he should know that all he is doing only makes Youngjae more sure of it being a bad idea. He would never ruin what they have for a fuck, no matter how stupidly hot the idea sounds. It’s not worth it. 

And Youngjae is ready to say that, to tell Jaebeom to cut it out. But Jaebeom pays him no mind. “Moving on. Now there’s a topic on how much of a good boy I am and how I deserve this,” Jaebeom says it so seriously, and those are the exact words in the next slide: _‘Why Jaebeom Is A Good Boy And Why He Deserves Youngjae To Fuck Him’._

Again, Youngjae can’t help but laugh out loud. This is all too serious to be a joke, Jaebeom sounds way too serious and like he spent a lot of time on this. Still, Youngjae can’t take it seriously. 

Jaebeom lists every time he won something, be it a dancing competition, or an art competition when he was 8. There are also screenshots of his talks with his mom where she says Jaebeom is the best son in the world. He doesn’t know if he is supposed to ignore the fact that Jaebeom is her only son. There are also pictures Youngjae took of him when Jaebeom made him lunch on CSAT day last year. Youngjae was really touched by it. 

There are a lot more, Jaebeom volunteering at animal shelters, Jaebeom helping his grandparents to choose new glasses, Jaebeom taking care of the plantations at his family’s farm. Youngjae thinks to himself that he is really a good boy, but not very modest. Still, Youngjae finds it cute. Jaebeom doesn’t have pictures of every little action he ever made in his life but he has a list of it. It is really the cutest thing Youngjae has ever seen him doing. 

He wants to kiss Jaebeom’s cheek and tell him how good it is.

Youngjae shakes his head, not believing whatever Jaebeom is trying to do might be actually working. Not that he is considering fuck Jaebeom, but it’s making him all warm, that he can’t deny. 

“Who is this?” Youngjae interrupts Jaebeom when a picture of a woman in a wedding dress comes up. They were in the ‘good boy Jaebeom’ section but his friend is nowhere in the current photo. 

“This is Minjoo, we went to school together. She got married and already has a baby, she is my age,” Jaebeom sounds annoyed just like a little kid when they can’t get their way. Youngjae has no idea what is going on. “The point is Minjoo, for what I know, isn’t that good of a person. Once she blamed her friend for something she did just so she wouldn’t be suspended,”

“Hyung, what the fuck, I don’t know this girl,” Youngjae whines. 

It’s getting so hot in the house he has to take one of his sweaters, now there is just one more and his shirt. Jaebeom seems distracted by Youngjae’s movements, catching himself a second later. 

“Youngjae, she isn’t a good person yet she is married with a kid. Which means she had sex,” 

“Of course, she had,” Youngjae says slowly, the woman in the picture staring at him with the brightest smile he has ever seen, it makes him uncomfortable. 

“You don’t see it? She had sex, you had sex, everyone around me had sex. But I am turning 21 today and I hadn’t had sex yet. I’m in college, I have friends and I go to parties, but I can’t have fucking sex,” Jaebeom says the last part so loudly Youngjae thinks all neighborhood will now know about Jaebeom’s lack of sex life. 

Usually, Youngjae would mock him for being so dramatic over something like that. But Jaebeom looks very sensitive, it’s his birthday, and he is also wearing something very nice, Youngjae doesn’t want to upset him. 

“I’ve told you a thousand times, sex is not as important as you make it up to be. And not having sex isn’t that much of a big deal either--”

“To you!” Jaebeom yells, startling Youngjae. “Sorry, Youngjae-yah. But having sex is important to me, I want it,”

“I understand you want it, but can’t you just jerk off? I don’t know, just find someone nice and do it if there is no other way,” Youngjae also wants to comment on how he went overboard and made a PowerPoint presentation just to get fucked but he will spare Jaebeom this once. He can tease him about it in a few weeks, probably. “I’m not going to do it,”

“We still have one more section to go,” Jaebeom says this time softly. He turns his back away, and it’s the first time he does that. The first time tonight he is not acting like he has his shit together and somehow became a professional at presentations. 

Youngjae decides to sit through it, it’s not like anything he sees there will change his mind anyway, he just doesn’t want to hurt Jaebeom. 

_‘All The Ways Youngjae Can Get It’_ , says the next slide. Youngjae is afraid of what will come next, he is trying to figure it out since Jaebeom doesn’t say anything but then he is met with a picture of Jaebeom completely naked, all wet in front of the full-body mirror he has in his room. 

Youngjae cannot say anything, he can’t move, can’t think, cannot function anymore. He isn’t sure, but he probably can’t even breathe properly anymore. 

It’s not as if having known Jaebeom for over ten years he has never seen his friend naked. He has, more times than he can remember. But it was never a big deal, Youngjae wouldn’t look. But now he can look, he is supposed to look at Jaebeom’s naked body right there on the big screen in front of him. His toned muscles, his pale skin dotted with small moles, he can see even the droplets of water all over his body. It’s too hot there. 

Youngjae has his mouth open, thankfully Jaebeom isn’t looking at him. He has his back to Youngjae, not that the boy is paying attention to the actual Jaebeom standing there, he cares more for powerpoint Jaebeom. And soon enough mirror nude disappears giving space for Jaebeom’s ass being reflected in another mirror, a small round one now. Youngjae has seen pics like this, he thinks it became a trend. But this is different. It’s Jaebeom, and he is not just naked there, he is being sensual for Youngjae. This is all for Youngjae. 

No matter what he said about not fucking Jaebeom, he couldn’t explain to his body that the man on the screen was his best friend and he was off-limits. He wanted him. Every single cell of his body wanted Jaebeom under him. 

Next picture Jaebeom was sitting in his bed, he had his legs open and one hand around his hard dick. No one would be able to know it was Jaebeom since it was just his torso, still, it was too much, his entire body was flushed and tense. Youngjae couldn’t look at it anymore, it was hurting him, physically hurting a particular part of his body. 

“Stop that, turn this off. Burn these slides, burn these pictures,” Youngjae finally finds it on him to move. He tries to take the remote control from Jaebeom but the older boy holds it above their heads. “Hyung, give me that. Are you insane what if someone sees these? Give it to me now,” 

Youngjae is demanding but his words soon die in his throat when he feels his hard cock pressing against Jaebeom’s front. He can’t feel it the way he would like to because of his pants but he is sure Jaebeom can tell just how hard he is. 

And he is right, Jaebeom feels it because his mouth opens slightly and he blushes harder than he did before. Youngjae doesn’t think he ever saw him that red, it’s probably how he would look being fucked, the boy shakes his head he can’t be having thoughts like this. 

“It worked,” it isn’t a question, it sounds like Jaebeom is just making a statement. He throws the remote control to the couch knowing Youngjae won’t really go after it, proceeding to wrap his arms around Youngjae, bringing them closer together. 

Youngjae has to stop a moan from leaving his mouth at it. Jaebeom’s arms are warm around him, way better than all the layers of clothes he had on when he left his house. But what really feels good and really warm is the way Jaebeom’s groin is pressing against his clothed dick and making Youngjae go crazy. 

But he knows it doesn’t feel nearly as good as it would feel if he would just take his clothes off, feeling just the silk between them. 

“It-- it did not” but he stutters, and instead of trying to put some distance between them, Youngjae presses himself harder against Jaebeom, needing to get more contact. 

It wasn’t his intention, but he can’t help but touch Jaebeom. To feel his back, how large they are, going down to his waist, pressing his fingertips over it, ‘till he finds Jaebeom’s ass and squeezes it lightly, making Jaebeom moan. Is loud, too loud for something so simple, and it should be enough to wake Youngjae up from this fantasy but it isn’t. He likes the way Jaebeom sounds and he likes even more the way he can feel Jaebeom already getting hard between them. 

“But we are friends, we are best friends,” Youngjae tries once more. Maybe Jaebeom hasn’t thought it over, but he knows it doesn’t sound so much as an obstacle as it should. He can’t take his eyes off Jaebeom’s lips, he wants to kiss them so bad. 

But looking at him, no matter how horny Youngjae is, no matter how good the prospect of fucking Jaebeom might be, it’s still Jaebeom. Youngjae loves him, he can’t do it to his best friend. 

“We are friends,” he says once again, but this time he lets go of Jaebeom and even pushes him away. “It’s your birthday and I didn’t want you to be alone but I think I should go. Let’s pretend this didn’t happen,”

“Youngjae-yah, please,” Jaebeom says as he back hugs Youngjae. It’s not like the boy could do much other than turning his back to him, he didn’t even step away, yet Jaebeom feels the need to hold him like this. “Just this time, just once, please fuck me just this time,” he sounds so needy, it’s stupid that Jaebeom would become so needy so quickly. They didn’t even do anything.

“Just this time?” Youngjae wonders as he looks down at Jaebeom’s hands resting against his lower stomach. It’s not as if Youngjae thought it would be a recurrent thing, but when Jaebeom puts it like that it doesn’t sound so bad. 

“Just this time, I just want to feel it once. After we do it, I will never ask again and I will never talk about it ever again,” Jaebeom promises, dropping kisses to Youngjae’s neck. His kisses are open-mouthed and long, though he is a virgin it’s not like he has never made out with someone before. Jaebeom knows what he is doing, he knows exactly how to get Youngjae worked up. “Please? For my birthday?” 

“But--” Youngjae needs to think it over, he can’t just agree to it as if it isn’t something important. “Let me think if--”

“Do you need help making up your mind?” Jaebeom drops another kiss to his neck, this time he sucks at the spot behind his ear. If it leaves a mark it will be impossible to ignore it later, to pretend nothing happened. 

Jaebeom turns him around, not giving Youngjae any time to answer. They stare at each other for what feels like a lifetime but it’s probably just a second before Jaebeom takes Youngjae’s hand on his. 

Youngjae doesn’t know what he should expect if Jaebeom is being really sappy, maybe a kiss between his fingers, something innocent like that. But Jaebeom pulls Youngjae closer and guides the boy’s hand to his back, under his robe. Youngjae can’t comprehend what is going on, his mind too fogged by want, ‘till he makes contact with warm skin and he tries to pull away but Jaebeom won’t let him. 

It’s not even that Youngjae wants to pull away, he was just so shocked to touch Jaebeom that he didn’t know what to do. He doesn’t want to stop though, really doesn’t. And Jaebeom knows it. He gets a hold of Youngjae’s fingers moving them over his asscheeks, the boy has his eyes closed, he can’t look at Jaebeom. He doesn’t want to think anything, no need to think. 

Maybe Youngjae should see what is coming, but he doesn’t. When Jaebeom gets his fingers between his asscheeks and Youngjae can feel how warm and wet he is over there, the boy almost combusts. He can feel his entire body burning as if he could melt all the snow outside with a simple touch of his fingers. 

“Was getting myself ready for you, when you got here… was in my room fingering myself open for you,” Jaebeom admits and this time doesn’t sound shy at all. He should, he should be shy and he shouldn’t be opening himself for Youngjae, he shouldn’t be so confident all of this would work. But really, there is no way it wouldn’t work, dressing like this for him, showing him those pictures, and fucking asking to being fucked. Of course, he knew it would work. 

Youngjae wants to deny it, but it worked.

“If we do that… if we fuck you gotta promise something, Hyung,” Youngjae needs to force himself to open his eyes. This is a conversation they should have another time when they aren’t drunk on horniness but it obviously can’t wait. Jaebeom locks eyes with him and it takes everything on him to not just kiss him already. “If we fuck you cannot fall for me. Nothing changes between us, get it? We don’t fall for each other and we don’t make it weird between us, we just… fuck and it’s just this once. Deal?”

Jaebeom nods his head way too quickly for someone who needs to make a decision. He probably doesn’t care for what Youngjae said or maybe the idea of falling in love with Youngjae is too stupid to him anyway. It’s not something he worries about. 

“I won’t fall in love. I promise,” Jaebeom agrees and then he presses Youngjae’s fingers harder over his hole. Youngjae had almost forgotten it was there, almost. 

He kisses Youngjae too, all at once, moaning into his mouth. Youngjae can’t even say anything, Jaebeom probably deduced that agreeing to the conditions would earn him a ‘yes’. He was right. 

Youngjae didn’t care for anything else anymore. He kisses Jaebeom as passionately as the other boy kisses him back. Sliding his middle finger inside the older boy without caring too much about anything, just to the knuckle. As wet as Jaebeom is he isn’t wet enough. He is open though, so it’s not that hard to keep going but Youngjae isn’t sure if it will be that pleasurable to his best friend. 

This is all about giving Jaebeom pleasure, all about making him feel good about himself. Youngjae should mind him first, but he also wants it so bad, he wants to finger Jaebeom, it was something he never thought about but now it was like his life depended on it. It was all too fast, Jaebeom sucking his lips and tongue, all sloppy, trying to take off his clothes, even though it was too damn hard to do that with the way Youngjae was fingering him. 

As good as it was, Youngjae wanted more, so he let go of Jaebeom’s ass and let the boy undress him. It was a lot of clothing parts he had to get rid of. The way he whined about it was so cute, Jaebeom was always cute but him being cute in a time like this was something so unexpected for Youngjae, he had to pull him up for another kiss. 

It was all going too fast, not ideal for a first time Youngjae reminded himself. But no matter how many times he tried to slow things down Jaebeom wouldn’t let him. Once his hands found their way inside Youngjae’s underwear there was no holding back anymore. 

“Come here,” Youngjae pushed the boy’s hands away and took said underwear off all the way, standing naked in front of his best friend. Jaebeom didn’t have any time to react, Youngjae pulled him to his room by the arm.

Jaebeom was stupidly hot like that, the pink robe against his flushed skin, the way his chest would rise and fall so quickly, his hair a mess, messier than usual. Everything about him was so damn hot right now. 

“We gonna-- Hyung, get on all fours for me,” it wasn’t a request, Youngjae all but shoves his friend to the bed when it takes him a little too long to start moving. 

Jaebeom positions himself as he takes the robe off, and it’s the best view Youngjae has ever had in his life. Jaebeom is perfect like that, all naked and exposed to him. Not something Youngjae has ever imagined before, maybe just once or twice but that was all. It was better than what his mind could ever come up with.

He kneels behind Jaebeom, hands sliding from the back of his shoulders to his inner thighs. Jaebeom’s body is rigid though, not like before, he is clearly tense and nervous now. Youngjae wants to scold himself, he is so horny and so worried about it being just sex that he didn’t think about how Jaebeom must be feeling. 

“I will not hurt you. It will be good, so fucking good, I promise you, Hyung,” Youngjae knows first times aren’t the best, his first time wasn’t awful but it wasn’t exactly good either. It was a little embarrassing, he doesn’t like thinking about it. They agreed on never talking about this again but it’s not like Youngjae doesn’t want Jaebeom to think about it, not as if he would like his best friend to feel bad about his first time. 

“I know you won’t, I trust you,” Jaebeom replies, but his voice is so low Youngjae barely hears it. He feels some kind of pride in being trusted but lets go of the thought easily, focusing on Jaebeom solely. 

Youngjae covers Jaebeom’s body with his own, slowly moving down as he drops kisses to Jaebeom’s back. The sounds Jaebeom lets out are insane, Youngjae isn’t used to hearing them coming from him. He doesn’t think he will be able to take them off his mind any time soon. If ever. 

He kisses Jaebeom’s small back, then goes down to his ass, kissing over it just to see if he can get the same reaction. He gets even better sounds. “I wish I could eat you out, but I don’t think any of us can stand it right now,”

Jaebeom makes a muffled noise, it almost sounds like he is crying. Youngjae wishes he isn’t or he will have to stop it, it would be too much. But no other sound comes from Jaebeom so he just ignores it. If he doesn’t acknowledge it then it didn’t happen.

Youngjae does ask for lube and condoms. Jaebeom hands him the lube without looking at his face, but there is no condom. Youngjae feels weird about it but Jaebeom tells him not to worry, arguing that it was just this one time. 

He will lecture Jaebeom on why it doesn’t matter if it’s just one time later. He doesn’t want Jaebeom risking himself out there. Still, Youngjae agrees to it, he doesn’t know how could he say no to him, not when he is about to lose it from how much he wants to fuck Jaebeom. 

Youngjae slides his middle finger back inside Jaebeom, and now that everything is correctly wet it’s way easier to finger his best friend. Another finger goes in easily, he is all loose already, though Youngjae wants to make sure of it. 

While he holds Jaebeom’s asscheeks apart with one of his hands he uses the other one to finger the boy slowly, Youngjae enjoys watching it. Enjoys how Jaebeom’s body is trying to make space for him, working hard to accommodate him. It’s such a beautiful sight, his dick seems to think so as well, the way it’s starting to hurt, an angry shade of red almost begging for some action too. 

Youngjae ignores it for the time being, instead adding another thing inside Jaebeom. It’s not like he needs all this prep, but fucking Jaebeom with his fingers turns out to be enjoyable too. Jaebeom’s arms already gave up on him, his face is smashed to the mattress, and his legs are starting to give in as well. 

But Youngjae doesn’t mind it, if anything it’s satisfying to see the other falling apart under him like this. He twists his fingers, making sure to finger Jaebeom a little faster, giving him some of the pleasure he deserves. 

His friend is trying to say something under him, but it’s impossible to make anything out. So he shoves his ass hard against Youngjae’s fingers, that’s all the begging he is getting tonight Youngjae supposes. He keeps his finger fucking Jaebeom but lies his body over his best friend once more, kissing his nape and biting at his neck. At least the moan is clear, is too loud for it not to be. 

Though it was all about Jaebeom when Youngjae slides his fingers out of him it’s not because he takes mercy on his friend. It’s himself he is thinking about. He needs to touch himself. The position is not ideal but he can manage a hand around himself, the same fingers he had inside Jaebeom now wrapped around his dick, jerking himself slowly. Still so wet and so good, Youngjae could cum from this feeling alone. Just from touching himself and kissing Jaebeom’s neck. But he promised much more, he was promised much more. 

If it were up to Youngjae, he would just slide in, just the way they are right now. But it’s not. He helps Jaebeom to hold himself up once more, makes sure he can do that and he won’t fall in his face once again. Kneeling back Youngjae smears his cock with lube, as much as he thinks is needed, maybe a little more. 

He makes Jaebeom assure him he will say if he needs to stop, though he just nods Youngjae knows this is the best he can do right now. 

It’s not like Youngjae is that experienced, sure he has fucked before and he has been with a few boys, so he knows his shit. But he is so nervous right now, he holds his dick, and he stares at Jaebeom’s ass, he just needs to slide in, but it’s nerve-wracking. There is no going back as it is, it’s not like they aren’t too far gone to just stop and pretend they didn’t start it, that’s not what Youngjae is worried about anyway. It’s just that he wants it to be so good for Jaebeom he is scared he will fuck it up. 

One more time Youngjae moves so he can kiss Jaebeom, this time he kisses his temple just near his eye. He hopes is reassuring enough, and that it can convey all his feelings, mainly the ones he can’t put in words. 

“I’ll do it… now,” he says awkwardly, not getting any reply back. 

Youngjae knew it would be good, there was no way it wouldn’t, but when he presses the tip against Jaebeom’s hole and gets all the warmth he almost cums right there and then. He slows down pretending to himself it’s to let Jaebeom get used to it but he is not even inside yet. Youngjae breathes in slowly, and tries again, this time he gets the tip inside and it’s so fucking good it’s hard for him to stop himself from pushing all his length inside at once. 

Jaebeom is a little tense again, so Youngjae soothes him, massages the small of his back making small movements so he can get more of his dick inside. He knows it will be more uncomfortable if he stays still like this for much longer. 

He wishes Jaebeom would say something, say if it hurts if he should slow down or pull out but he doesn’t do anything, doesn’t make a sound. So, Youngjae keeps going, he presses himself against Jaebeom, getting inside all the way. His body tingling from the pressure. 

“You are so tight, so hot… so fucking good, Hyung,” Youngjae lets him know, hands at Jaebeom’s sides feeling his body shake as well. “Does it hurt?” He reminds himself to ask. 

Jaebeom shakes his head but Youngjae knows it can’t be true, there is no way it doesn’t hurt, not even a little. But he knows when to press and when to let go, so Youngjae just observes him a bit to make sure there is no trace of pain in him. 

When he feels like Jaebeom is ready for more and that it can be more enjoyable than painful, he starts to move his hips slowly. And just like this Jaebeom comes back to life. He was being so quiet Youngjae wasn’t sure he was enjoying it, but now he is back to being a loud moaning mess. And even though he doesn’t say any coherent words, Youngjae reads the moans as ‘keep going’. And so he does. 

Youngjae moves his hips just fast enough for Jaebeom to be able to feel something, and with so little, he is already so responsive. It’s not like Youngjae can keep this pace forever, Jaebeom is really tight, he will go out of his mind if he doesn’t start fucking him properly soon. 

He wished he could give Jaebeom a sign that he is about to change his pace but he doesn’t know how so he just squeezes his best friend’s waist two times and then he is fucking into him harder. Really fucking Jaebeom, moving his hips and Jaebeom’s as well with more power, he is sure Jaebeom will have marks on there and he wants to bite over them. 

Youngjae wants to make sure Jaebeom has nothing but his marks all over him. The thought alone is enough for Youngjae to space out for a bit, all he can feel is his cock moving in and out while Jaebeom’s pretty sounds wrap themselves around him. 

It’s possible that Jaebeom is trying to form words now, Youngjae thinks he hears a ‘please’ but he can’t be sure, can’t say anything back either. He can only thrust his hips against Jaebeom, the wet sounds they are making so loud, they can’t be missed even among Jaebeom’s moans. He feels and hears it when his dick finally hits Jaebeom’s prostate, it happens just once, in the next thrust Youngjae doesn’t hit it again. But it’s enough for Jaebeom to sob beneath him, now Youngjae is sure he is crying but he can’t do anything about it. It doesn’t matter. In fact, Youngjae does his best to find Jaebeom’s prostate over and over again, every time he will hear a loud sob and he loves it. Loves the way Jaebeom sounds so vulnerable, he is never like this. 

Youngjae forgets about everything around them, all he can think about is how to make Jaebeom cry harder. And he does, a few more thrusts, a strong grip on the ends of Jaebeom’s hair and he is moaning Youngjae’s name, cumming all over his mattress. Youngjae’s body slows down on its own. He just can’t believe Jaebeom just came untouched, just on his dick. It’s a shame that they will just be doing it this one time, Youngjae would like to make him cum just from his fingers, or from his tongue and lips. 

The images he gets on his brain are so fucking hot, he is already thrusting inside Jaebeom at full speed again. Jaebeom’s upper body gave up on him once again, Youngjae would try to hold him but he is so close, all he can do is thrust, fuck Jaebeom frantically. 

When he looks down he catches Jaebeom looking at him over his shoulders, his messy fringe sticking to his face from all the sweat, his eyes almost closed, he is way too pretty to be looking at Youngjae like that. That’s the last coherent thought Youngjae has before he lets his desire take over his body, his pace not so coordinated anymore and he feels his body tensing up before he cums inside Jaebeom. 

He keeps thrusting, milking himself, doing his best to avoid Jaebeom’s prostate and not make it uncomfortable for him. When he finally can’t move anymore Youngjae wants to punch himself for the mess he just did. He didn’t mean to cum inside, looking at the red marks on Jaebeom’s neck and hips he didn’t mean to do any of that either. But it’s not like Jaebeom seems to mind after Youngjae slides off the other just lies completely relaxed, eyes closed and a silly smile on his face. 

Youngjae rolls his eyes scrunching his nose, Jaebeom probably asleep if he is able to lie over his own cum and not feel repulsed by it. He moves around looking for something to clean Jaebeom up, he settles for the boy’s robe, he isn’t about to use his own clothes. Jaebeom doesn’t move at all, Youngjae has to turn him on his back. 

He doesn’t mean to, but as he cleans Jaebeom as best as he can, his eyes travel through all the extent of his body. His leg, his now soft cock, his happy trail, his chest, the moles he has there and on his arms. Youngjae doesn’t think he should do this, they already had sex, but he still leans in and kisses Jaebeom. It’s not even a kiss, he just touches their lips together and goes back to his cleaning. 

It’s not perfect but it’s the best he can do. He won’t sleep all sweat though, so he leaves Jaebeom there and takes a hot shower. Youngjae is already feeling cold again, the warmth from Jaebeom around him is all gone, that’s the only reason why he bothers wearing pajamas and not just his underwear. 

Youngjae orders food and even puts on a movie waiting for Jaebeom to wake up. But he doesn’t seem to ever wake up, Youngjae eats by himself and even gets around the second movie of the night before Jaebeom shows up in the living room. His face is blank, Youngjae can read him anyway, he knows Jaebeom is freaking out so he just plays it cool. He understands why Jaebeom would be nervous, but they talked before, he will not let him ruin things between them. 

“It’s not your birthday anymore, but I will be nice and heat your food for you,” Youngjae says smiling at him. 

Jaebeom doesn’t smile back but he nods going to sit where Youngjae previously was. It doesn’t take the boy long to bring Jaebeom his food, he even brings him a can of herbal tea, and as stupid as it might be, that’s what earns him a smile. 

Youngjae notices he is sitting way too close to Jaebeom considering they have more than enough room. But he also reminds himself that he wouldn’t even notice it if they hadn’t just fucked, he is just overthinking it. Youngjae presses play so he can resume the movie but he doesn’t remember what it was about anymore, he doesn’t care either. 

Instead of watching the movie Youngjae just focus on Jaebeom, it bothers the older boy to the point he tells Youngjae to stop looking a few times but he doesn’t feel like doing that so he doesn’t. It’s just interesting for Youngjae, it’s not like he thought Jaebeom was ugly before, he knew he was handsome and all, but he doesn’t think he ever noticed just how hot Jaebeom actually is. 

His nose is so beautiful too, and the moles up his eye don’t even seem real. Youngjae wants to kiss them, it’s so annoying he never cared for this he doesn’t know what is up with his brain out of nowhere. Not really out of nowhere, they just fucked, but still, Youngjae never acted like that because of sex. Jaebeom didn’t even take a shower, he smells like them, Youngjae doesn’t like it. 

“Can you stop looking?” Jaebeom says getting more annoyed each time he has to repeat himself. Youngjae doesn’t care. 

“I’m just trying to find the source of this rotten smell. Weren’t you supposed to smell good,” Youngjae replies back quickly, he doesn’t stink. Youngjae likes how he smells but he would never admit it. 

“Fuck you, I was hungry,” Jaebeom scowls getting out of the couch and going to the shower. Finally, Youngjae can breathe again without being reminded of what they did just by looking at Jaebeom. 

When Jaebeom comes back they play FIFA for hours, and then they eat again. They stay up ‘till five in the morning playing other games as well. Of course, Youngjae would spend the night, or what was left of it, it wasn’t a question. And to his surprise, it wasn’t weird. They slept together in Jaebeom’s bed the way they have been doing since they were kids, it’s not the same bed anymore. But everything else was still the same. 

Youngjae worried Jaebeom would be awkward, but if anything he feels like he is the only one scared there. Jaebeom lies under the blankets with him and even makes sure to turn Youngjae on his belly so he can cuddle him the way they always did. 

In all honesty, Youngjae wished he could stay all day with Jaebeom. He wasn’t clingy, it wasn’t that, he just wanted to make sure it would be normal between them. He was still second-guessing it. But, he had to work. 

Youngjae was very lucky to snatch a job at a bakery shop, that’s what he was studying for. But he was just a barista, he still thought he was lucky though. Sometimes Youngjae would bake at home and bring whatever he made for his boss, she was a tough woman but the boy believed she would let him bake one day. It all didn’t matter today though. 

It was Sunday, Youngjae was dead tired, the place was filled with people, mostly couples enjoying the cozy atmosphere. And on top of all that he was still going to the theater with Jaebeom. It’s all Youngjae’s fault he knows that, he was the one who stayed up ‘till late last night, the one who agreed to work today, and also the one who got the tickets for Jaebeom. He should just accept his fate. 

Though he didn’t want to watch any horror movie, Youngjae was counting the seconds for Jaebeom to pick him up. He just wanted to leave. 

When his shift ended Youngjae went outside to wait for Jaebeom, he was supposed to be there ten minutes ago and he isn’t picking Youngjae’s calls. The boy was about to call his friend again when he saw Jaebeom turning the corner with a sheepish smile on his lips, and his face swollen. 

“Were you sleeping? Hyung, I’m freezing here,” Youngjae says annoyed, walking the rest of the way to him. 

“Sorry, I was tired,” Jaebeom wraps one of his arms around Youngjae’s shoulders. Youngjae tries to think if that’s something they usually do, he guesses so. “Why did you pick such a late session, anyway?”

“Because I had work and I didn’t want to do it days after your birthday or else it wouldn’t feel like a birthday-ish thing,” Youngjae explains and it makes Jaebeom smile. He won’t look too much into it, Jaebeom is weird, something dumb like this can make him smile. 

They don’t need to walk much, and it’s not so cold with Jaebeom plastered against him. Youngjae buys them popcorn, coke, and chocolate. He would ask Jaebeom to pay for it but he is still in a birthday mood so he was treating his best friend to it. 

Right at the beginning of the movie Youngjae already had his eyes closed. He didn’t know the name of the movie or even what it was about, all he knew was that the story took place in an asylum. If Youngjae had known about it before he wouldn’t have bought tickets for it, but the lady selling the tickets assured him it was good and it was a hit between horror movie lovers. Youngjae really hated asylum movies though, it was the scariest thing for him. 

Holding whoever was sitting by his side hand wasn’t anything new. Everyone knew Youngjae would do it eventually if he was scared. But two minutes in and he was already holding Jaebeom’s hand for dear life. Jaebeom never minded it. He interlocks their fingers together and it makes Youngjae feel a little better. 

Jaebeom yells when something scary happens, everyone in the theater does. Even though Youngjae doesn’t know what is happening he is scared as well, so he hides his face on Jaebeom’s neck for the next two hours. It’s nice and comfortable like that, Youngjae would be able to fall asleep if it wasn’t for the yells.

It’s almost one in the morning when they take a taxi to go back home, Jaebeom tries to talk about the movie but since Youngjae didn’t open his eyes he doesn’t know what happened at all so he gives up, looking for theories on Youtube instead. It’s really good, Youngjae supposes, he won’t have to worry about the fact they had sex anymore, he can let go of it. 

Jaebeom tells the driver to stop in front of his house, Youngjae wasn’t going to leave the car, he was going to make the man drive the meters left to his place but Jaebeom pulls him out of the thing. 

“Thanks for the gifts, I think it will be a memorable birthday,” Jaebeom starts, but Youngjae doesn’t care, they both have class in the morning, they need to sleep. 

“Okay, talk about it later,” 

“Hey, wait. It’s not over yet,” Jaebeom takes something out of his pocket. The gift card Youngjae gave him and then he hands it to him. 

“Why are you giving me this?” He can’t believe Jaebeom couldn’t wait ‘till tomorrow to ask for something. When he takes the card from the envelope Youngjae almost throws it at Jaebeom’s face. 

It’s in Jaebeom’s messy handwriting but he can read it just fine, ‘ _the gift I want is to have Youngjae fuck me again.’_

“Is this a joke? We literally did it yesterday and we said one time, that was it, right? One time nothing more,” this time he throws the card back at Jaebeom. He is busy getting it from the ground so Youngjae just starts making his way home but soon Jaebeom is by his side holding his arm. 

“The card says you will give me whatever I want, and that’s the only thing I want. Come on, will you break your promise--”

“Enough!” Youngjae turns to him and the Christmas lights one of their neighbors didn’t take out yet make it look like there’s a rainbow on Jaebeom’s cheeks. It kinda makes Youngjae less annoyed. “Ask me something else, if you want a zebra I’ll get it to you but stop with this sex thing,”

“Was it that bad?” Jaebeom whispers more to himself than to Youngjae but he still waits for a reply. 

The problem wasn’t it being bad, it really was the opposite of it. It was so good, Youngjae dreamed of Jaebeom all night. That was a good reason for them to not do it again but he wasn’t strong enough. “Okay, but it will be the last time, get it?”

Jaebeom nods excitedly and they make their way back to his house together, with Jaebeom’s hands all over him. Youngjae didn’t think it was possible but it was even better than last night, maybe it was because Jaebeom wasn’t so nervous anymore and he was actually talking to Youngjae not just being there. Or maybe it was because they tried different positions or it was a mix of it all. 

He isn’t sure, what he is sure of is that if it were someone else Youngjae would be begging for them to keep doing it, all day every day. But it was Jaebeom, he had to take care of their friendship first. And really that’s what Youngjae was going to do, they would not fuck again. He kept reminding himself, it was good but not worth losing Jaebeom. 

It doesn’t take long for something to start bothering Youngjae, though. First, Bambam comments on how he is always on his phone texting Jaebeom and doesn’t pay attention to class or to anything around him really. Then Youngjae is making up excuses so he can try new recipes and take them to Jaebeom. And when he doesn’t get to see his best friend he will just sulk like a kid. 

It doesn’t take a genius to realize that maybe he shouldn’t have worried so much about Jaebeom catching feelings and more about himself. Not that Youngjae caught feelings, he really didn’t, but he was a little too clingy lately. Missing Jaebeom all the time and wanting to be with him every second of the day, he doesn’t believe sex did that, it never did before. Maybe it triggered something inside Youngjae, he really hates it. 

It’s already been two weeks since Jaebeom’s birthday, Youngjae thinks whatever effect it had on him should be gone by now. That’s what he tells himself anyway. He eats and plays with Coco all day trying to make time pass faster, he had his shift earlier and he doesn’t feel like working on his homework. It doesn’t work, so he just lazes around watching TV with his mom and Coco. 

Youngjae checks his phone every once in a while, but Jaebeom hasn’t texted him in hours. It’s starting to anger him, even though it makes no sense for him to be mad about it nor have they agreed on doing anything. It doesn’t have to make sense. 

But just as if Jaebeom could sense his feelings he enters the house, he doesn’t knock either, at first he didn’t like it but Youngjae has left him waiting outside enough times for him to learn to just get in. 

Jaebeom hugs Youngjae’s mom first asking how she is doing. Then he goes to Coco, petting her and even giving the dog kisses. Coco wasn’t too friendly with Jaebeom at first but he won her over with lots of walks in the park and treats. 

Youngjae watches them annoyed waiting for Jaebeom’s attention, it never seems to be directed at him. “Hello to you too,” he finally says in a harsh tone. Youngjae didn’t even mean to say anything, both Jaebeom and his mom looked his way as if he grew a new pair of eyes but neither commented on it. 

“Hi,” it’s all Jaebeom says but at least he sits next to Youngjae. Coco runs to sit between them. “So… Jinyoung wanted me to ask if you want to check this exposition near the--”

“No, I don’t. I want to stay home,” Youngjae doesn’t even let him finish. He’s been waiting for the weekend, hopeful he could spend some time with Jaebeom. Just the two of them.

“Oh… okay. See you tomorrow then?” Jaebeom doesn’t sound too happy about it but he doesn’t insist on Youngjae going with them, he tries to get up, probably to leave. 

Youngjae won’t let him. He pulls Jaebeom’s arm so he is sitting again, “what? No! I want us to stay home, it’s too cold… and you just got home from work, why would you want to go out again?” Youngjae tries not knowing how to convince Jaebeom without a plan, he didn’t think Jaebeom would want to go out. 

“Youngjae-yah, should we stay locked up inside all winter?” Jaebeom is clearly mocking him, Youngjae would swear at him but his mom won’t be happy. 

“Yes, like cute bears,” Youngjae says sweetly, it’s fake but still sweet. “Come on, Hyung, let’s just watch a movie in my room. You can pick whatever you want,”

Youngjae’s mom starts giggling, and it’s not because of whatever she is watching. She excuses herself lying about having left something on the stove. 

Jaebeom pays her no mind, he just looks at Youngjae as if considering his options. “What if I want to watch a horror movie?”

“Again?” Youngjae can’t believe how mean Jaebeom can be. He is smirking smugly and all, he probably thinks Youngjae won’t agree to it. He doesn’t know how desperate he is. Youngjae can see the surprise on his friend’s face when he agrees and Jaebeom has to cancel plans with Jinyoung.

They go to Youngjae’s room, turning his TV on as they enter. The screen is not as big as the one in the living room but Youngjae wanted to be alone with Jaebeom, without his mom’s knowing eyes. 

The room is all dark, just like in the theater, they lie together in his bed and Jaebeom picks the movie they will watch. At least, Jaebeom will watch it, Youngjae just looks away. He looks at Jaebeom, he doesn’t look upset about staying home, it’s relieving. He also looks at their interlocked fingers as well, he wouldn’t be able to pay attention to the movie even if he wanted to. 

“Last time it was good wasn’t it?” Jaebeom says out of nowhere, turning his attention to Youngjae. He almost takes his hand away from Jaebeom’s grip afraid he was caught staring down. 

“No. I hated that movie as well,” 

“What? No, I mean…” it’s as if Jaebeom expects Youngjae to get what he is talking about, he doesn’t. “I mean the sex, it was good for you too, right? Not just for me,”

“I guess… why?” Just like they promised they didn’t talk about it. Youngjae thought they would keep it that way, at least he was doing his best but Jaebeom had to bring it up. 

“I know we promised it would be just that would be the last time, but,” Jaebeom doesn’t have to finish but Youngjae still waits for him to do it. Reluctantly Jaebeom lets go of Youngjae’s hand, he pauses the movie and kneels in the bed in front of Youngjae. “Do you wanna do it again? Same agreement as before, the only change is we do it again? We still don’t have to talk about it afterward,”

“Why?” Youngjae should say no but he wants to know if Jaebeom is going through the same clinginess as he is. He doesn’t think it’s the same for him but still, Youngjae needs to know. 

“Because it was good? I don’t wanna do it with anyone else, I really don’t,” Jaebeom admits so honestly. Youngjae huffs in annoyance, Jaebeom doesn’t know it but he shouldn't be saying things like that it makes it impossible for Youngjae to refuse. Jaebeom is the only one he wants to have sex with as well. 

Maybe Jaebeom knows it. That manipulative shit. 

“Should we go to your house?” Youngjae asks which makes Jaebeom laugh startled. He seems very relieved as if he expected to have to work harder to convince Youngjae just like last time. The boy can’t believe it isn’t obvious enough for Jaebeom how much he also wants to do it. 

“We don’t need to, I will be quiet,” Jaebeom assures with pouty lips and bright eyes. 

Youngjae doesn’t believe Jaebeom can be quiet for a second. He doesn’t want to risk being heard by his parents or worse by Coco. Still, he doesn’t want to go to Jaebeom’s place either, he just wants to get to the fucking already. So, he replaces the movie with some loud rapping. Jaebeom laughs loudly at his choice, but it was just the first thing Youngjae saw, he doesn’t care for the background song he just wants to get his hands on Jaebeom again. 

And so he does, it’s not like the first time but it’s not like the last time either. Apparently, Jaebeom looked some stuff up online that he wants to try. Youngjae never tried different things either so he is excited about it. 

First they try a sleep mask on Youngjae, he hates it, hates not being able to see Jaebeom or what he is doing. Then they try it on Jaebeom and if anything it’s worse because the thing won’t even let his body react to whatever Youngjae does to him. 

Then they try tying Jaebeom’s arms and legs with belts. It’s not that it doesn’t work, but Jaebeom looks so funny like that, Youngjae can’t stop laughing at the image of his best friend naked in his bed and all tied up like a limbless worm. It upsets Jaebeom so Youngjae tries to make it up to him, all he has to do is praise Jaebeom. 

Youngjae apologizes, but thinking it wasn’t enough he starts praising the other. Telling him how beautiful he is and how much Youngjae enjoys being with him. Surprisingly Jaebeom is really into it. He still has the belt on his arms and he is whining, begging for Youngjae to get his hands on him. Youngjae didn’t know this side of Jaebeom, didn’t know he had some kind of praising kind but apparently, he does. 

All Youngjae has to do is keep complimenting him, just saying his cock looks beautiful when it’s flushed is enough to send Jaebeom over the edge. He doesn’t know what he will make with this information but Youngjae sure will use it in another opportunity. 

This time, once again, it’s way better than the previous ones. It annoys Youngjae because he doesn’t want that. He doesn’t want to be so into it that he forgets why he shouldn’t be doing it in the first place. But it’s so hard, it is really hard to turn Jaebeom down when he is just asking for kisses when they are cuddling in his bed. Youngjae doesn’t want to turn him down, he wants to give Jaebeom everything he wants. He did not see it coming. 

Just like last time, they promise they won’t do it again but it’s no use, they know they won’t commit to it. After that things sort of start getting out of control. Jaebeom doesn’t even need to do any convincing anymore, all he does is come up with some silly excuse like ‘I had a bad day at work, can we fuck?’ or “I’m so sad I can’t go to the farm and see the new baby cow, can we fuck?’. And Youngjae falls for it. Every single time he falls for Jaebeom’s sad puppy eyes. He isn’t even trying to not fall for them anymore. 

It gets to a point where Jaebeom doesn’t need to ask for it anymore. It’s just something they do, just like they watch movies and play video games, having sex is now another activity they do together. It didn’t ruin their friendship like Youngjae was scared of, but things definitely shifted between them. 

They don’t talk about having sex, but it doesn’t mean they ignore it. It would be impossible to ignore it when they do it all the time. It should worry Youngjae that they started to ditch everything and everyone in order to stay in and fuck. Usually, they would hang out on the weekends, now they don’t care for it anymore. It doesn’t matter what they are, they are always together and when Youngjae is working late, Jaebeom will always make sure to walk him home. 

Something shifted but it wasn’t for the worse. Youngjae thinks about it a lot when he can’t sleep at night as he stares at Jaebeom. It’s not that he didn’t like how things were before but he hopes they can stay the way they are now. He likes it. The way Jaebeom looks at him after they kiss in the morning, Youngjae loves it. 

Every time someone brings up the fact that they never see Youngjae without Jaebeom these days he tries to change subjects. He doesn’t know how to explain it, and it’s not like he will just tell them he is fucking his best friend but they still just friends. He keeps it to himself. 

It’s a little harder when his parents are the ones bringing it up though. Youngjae can try to run from it as many times as he wants but they will always find a way to talk about it again. It doesn’t matter that much, it just bugs Youngjae when his mother comments on how Youngjae and Jaebeom haven’t spent one night apart in months. Youngjae freezes as they stare at each other, of course, his mom isn’t trying to repress him but she looks at him as if she is just waiting for him to tell her. 

Youngjae didn’t notice it before, though they spend most of their nights at Jaebeom’s place. Sometimes they will come to his house, and they will always sleep together. He doesn’t know how he expected his mother to not say anything. He just didn’t think it would make much difference, they have always been close, always together. But sleeping together every single night can’t pass as them just being close. 

There is no use lying to his mom, so Youngjae does something more embarrassing and says they are doing some ‘stuff’. It’s not a lie, but he just realizes it doesn’t sound much better than the complete truth later. 

That night Youngjae is helping Jaebeom with his grocery shopping. He has helped him many times, if he doesn’t come along Jaebeom will just buy beer and noodles and live off it. Youngjae is pushing the cart while Jaebeom back hugs him, hands wrapped around Youngjae’s middle and chin resting on his shoulder. It’s not the easiest task to walk like that but Youngjae doesn’t mind it, they keep giggling by themselves like idiots. 

It’s just when a large man is trying to get something from the aisle they are at and he clears his throat loudly, giving them a pointed look that Youngjae feels something weird in his stomach. Jaebeom doesn’t even have it on him to look embarrassed while Youngjae can’t stop bowing at the man. 

“Hyung, we should not be like that in public. What will people think?” Youngjae whispers once they finish buying everything Jaebeom needs. They were done pretty quickly after the incident with the other man and how ashamed Youngjae was. 

“What do you mean what will they think? We just grocery shopping, and also what matters what they will think? We don’t owe anyone anything,” Jaebeom shrugs, walking as close to Youngjae as they always do. 

These days they would even hold hands, the only reason why they aren’t doing it today is that they are taking the groceries to Jaebeom’s place. It bothers Youngjae for a reason he can’t pinpoint. He was still thinking about what his mom said too. 

“They might think we are dating…” it’s not an accusation, it would be his fault as much as it would be Jaebeom’s. But the way Jaebeom looks at him is pretty accusatory, Youngjae doesn’t know what it means. “And we are not. We could never, right?”

“Right,” Jaebeom agrees, but he doesn’t look at Youngjae. Youngjae just said that because he thought it was what Jaebeom meant to say, but when he agreed they would never be more than friends he feels his heart clenching in his chest. 

Youngjae tries to ignore the feeling, to act as if it didn’t bother him, but it’s really hard. He doesn’t think he does a good job of it, because Jaebeom is being really quiet and isn’t looking at him at all. Maybe that’s how he would react if he knew Youngjae was in love with him. Because at this point Youngjae isn’t even trying to lie to himself anymore. The moment he started missing Jaebeom and even feeling jealous of him he understood what was going on. He just decided to not do anything about it. 

Now, he was even more sure he should never confess to the other. 

Jaebeom is acting really strange. He barely replies to whatever Youngjae has to say, and when they go to bed he says he is too tired to do anything. There is nothing wrong with that it’s just weird since he never did that, not even when Youngjae knew for a fact he was really tired. 

It only happens that one time though. The next day they are back to the same old routine, but not really the same. They go back to have sex but that’s all. Jaebeom doesn’t text him all day anymore, it shouldn’t matter but it does for Youngjae. He also rarely goes to the bakery shop to see Youngjae or to pick him up. 

Youngjae knows he can’t complain about stuff like that, they are having sex and that’s all they agreed on. When they were just friends sans all the fucking they wouldn’t always be over each other’s business anyway. That’s how they acted before, and going back to it was shitty. Youngjae didn’t care for the sex, he cared more about Jaebeom being nice and sweet to him. He wanted to go on dates with Jaebeom and to hold his hands, they haven’t gone out together in weeks, he feels like crying. 

His parents are out of town, they went to the farm to see Jaebeom’s parents, they were close like that. Jaebeom lies on the couch of Youngjae’s house while he rests his feet on the boy’s lap and Coco sleeps on his chest. 

They were supposed to be watching a documentary, it was not the most interesting thing in the world, but it was Jaebeom’s idea. He needed to watch a documentary on original characters, Youngjae didn’t care for it at first but he was somehow hooked on it now. The problem was that Jaebeom didn’t take his eyes away from his phone, not even for a second. They are in the middle of the documentary and he didn’t make any notes either. 

“Are you not going to watch it? Can we turn it off then,” Youngjae isn’t going to do that, he wants to know more about the creative process behind drawing but he wants Jaebeom to pay attention too. But he gets no reply, it just makes Youngjae more annoyed. “What are you doing on that phone, just leave it,”

“Talking to a guy,” Jaebeom spits back, Youngjae can hear something strange in his voice but he isn’t sure of it. He is trying to wrap his mind over what Jaebeom just said. 

“A guy…? What?” Youngjae is so confused, it can’t be what it sounds like. 

“What you don’t understand about it? Is it weird that a guy would show interest in me?” 

Youngjae pushes Jaebeom’s feet off his lap and that gets Jaebeom’s attention. He looks at Youngjae and it’s the first time the boy finds anger there in a long time. “Are you for real? Are you flirting with someone else at my fucking house while _I_ watch the fucking stupid documentary _you_ should be watching?”

“So what if I’m flirting with someone else, really so what, Youngjae? It’s not like we are dating, is it?” Coco has already woken up, not because of their loud voices but because Jaebeom actually puts her to the floor so he can stand up. Youngjae stands up as well not liking having to look up to talk to the other. 

“You can’t be serious. You beg me to fuck you and then you go around fucking other guys? The hell is wrong with you, Hyung? We aren’t even wearing condoms and you come at me with this bullshit,” Youngjae pushes Jaebeom’s shoulder hard. Coco starts barking when Jaebeom steps forward. 

“I begged for you to-- You’re right I should start fucking other guys, anyone else is better than you anyway,” 

“Anyone else better is than me? God, you are--” Youngjae can’t even think straight. Jaebeom never treated him like this, never. He was always sweet to Youngjae, even when he was mad and he would take it out on everyone he was never like that with Youngjae. But now out of nowhere, he thinks it’s fine to start being a dick to him. “If you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore you could have just said,” 

“It’s the other way around. But you did, right? You said you didn’t want shit to do with me, and yet… honestly you are such an asshole, Youngjae, you don’t love me and you don’t want anyone else to love me either. Just… fuck you, I’m not doing this shit anymore,” 

It’s hard to make sense of Jaebeom’s words with the way his voice is shaking and with Coco’s loud barking. When he walks after Jaebeom the boy is already closing the house’s door, shoes in his hand, he didn’t even bother putting them on.

Youngjae goes back to the couch, he tries to calm Coco down and to calm himself as well. He doesn’t understand how he being mad at Jaebeom for flirting with someone else and turned on Jaebeom being mad at him for God knows what. 

He decides to give Jaebeom some space. Maybe if after they catch a good night of sleep they will be able to talk again without having an argument. But when Youngjae tries calling him the next day Jaebeom doesn’t pick it up. Youngjae shouldn’t even be this nice and call Jaebeom first, he should be mad too, and he is a bit mad but he loves the other, not just in a romantic way. He loves Jaebeom and has loved him for eleven years now, he knows everything about Jaebeom and there isn’t a single thing Youngjae would change about him. 

So, he is really trying. He is trying to contact Jaebeom and to solve things between them, it’s probably just a misunderstanding. Even though Youngjae doesn’t think he was flirting with someone else by accident he still wants to wait. It’s good for nothing, Jaebeom ignores him.

Youngjae spends the whole weekend by himself, just him and Coco. And after so long it’s really weird to sleep without Jaebeom. It makes him mad, but it lasts two seconds and then he just gets sad. It’s not like he can force Jaebeom to talk to him, he just needs to understand things. No matter what they did they weren’t supposed to fight. Youngjae slaps his head, regretting ever agreeing to those dumb slides.

Before he can think much more about it he gets an email notification. It’s almost midnight and his professor lets him know he hasn’t turned in his most important paper, and he only had about ten minutes to do it. Youngjae jumped from his bed desperate, his professor didn’t have to let him know, but the damn paper was worth 40% of his grade and Youngjae had it ready for over a week. 

His notebook took ages to turn on, Youngjae was about to start crying. He did cry when he couldn’t find the damn file, Youngjae remembers working on it, he was at Jaebeom’s place. It hits him why he was at Jaebeom’s place, it was because his laptop sucks, and Jaebeom let him use his. It was in Jaebeom’s laptop. 

Youngjae checked the time and he only had about three minutes to send the file. He could run to Jaebeom’s place but then he would have to convince him to open the door and beg him to let him use his laptop before they could talk. He is desperate, but Youngjae thinks he saved the file on Jaebeom’s Drive account, he remembers he made a mental note to send it to himself but he never did. 

It’s his luck that all of Jaebeom’s passwords are Youngjae’s birthday so he never forgets about it. Something tingles in Youngjae’s stomach at the realization, he never cared about it, but for now he ignores the feeling. When Youngjae can finally log in he scrolls down the page all the way ‘till he finds his file. He is so happy he could cry again, he just opens it and sends it to his professor, with just ten seconds to spare. 

Youngjae sends another email to his professor, this time from his phone, explaining he has sent it from his friend’s emails. Then he looks back at the computer screen never feeling so grateful for Jaebeom’s easy password when he notices the other’s file the boy has. Youngjae means to just log off but he sees a PowerPoint file named _‘getting Youngjae to fuck me on my bday’_ , he rolls his eyes but then scrolls down once again. 

There is another file and it was edited the same day as the one Jaebeom showed to Youngjae. This one is called _‘confession’_ , no funny name, no anything. Youngjae knows he shouldn’t do that, he shouldn’t even have logged in to Jaebeom’s account but it’s not like he can just ignore the damn file. He will think about it all night if he doesn’t click on it. It might not even be anything.

Youngjae closes his eyes and double-clicks the file, when it opens he is met with red heart balloons exploding. The next slide shows the title of the presentation, _‘Why Should Youngjae And Jaebeom Date (And How Jaebeom Fell In Love With Him)’_ and more hearts. There is nothing written in the next ones, no topics explaining anything, it’s just pictures of them.

But the pictures are different from the ones Jaebeom showed him on his birthday. These aren’t funny, they don’t have Brian’s face with an X on it. Youngjae remembers every picture there, in most of them they are holding hands, when they aren’t they are looking at each other in such an intense way it’s uncomfortable for him to look at them. 

Youngjae could puke. Those pictures have no explanation in them, Jaebeom isn’t there to make them make sense in the context he wants, but Youngjae understands it. He understands because when he looks at them he can see two people in love. It really makes Youngjae sick. 

He can’t believe everyone around them could see this but him. It was so clear it would be impossible for anyone to not notice it. He needs to hug himself when he sees the last picture, it’s one they took when Jaebeom turned 18 and his parents moved. They went to the farm to help them out, they spent an entire month there. A few of the goats they bought had babies, and Jaebeom was obsessed with them, with one in particular. A white one that was smaller than all the others. 

Jaebeom would go see the little baby every morning, after lunch, and before bed too. He would go to the barn a lot. Youngjae always followed him, and the day they had to go back to Seoul Jaebeom wanted to take a picture with the baby goat. He took a lot of pictures, in some of them his eyes were even red, he was trying not to cry. Youngjae remembers that.

The picture Jaebeom put in the slide though, was one Youngjae was also in, obviously. Jaebeom looked sad and Youngjae was hugging him from behind. He remembers kissing Jaebeom’s cheek and telling him to not be sad. The baby goat is by their side, and she is even looking at the camera, Youngjae seems to be whispering in Jaebeom’s ear. 

Youngjae slams the laptop shut. There is nothing special about the picture. Really, nothing Youngjae would have noticed on his own. But now that he has the image carved in his brain he sees much more. The way he was holding Jaebeom’s waist and Jaebeom was resting his entire body against Youngjae’s chest. The way they seem to fit together perfectly. But mostly the way Jalebeom is smiling even though he had been really upset all day. 

He yells in frustration. It’s just absurd that they would do that in front of everyone. God, in front of their parents, Jaebeom’s dad was the one who took the picture. He saw the way they were acting, Youngjae is just so embarrassed. 

But he only has about five minutes to feel shame, embarrassed of everyone who has ever interacted with them ‘till he remembers why he saw the picture in the first place. Jaebeom was making a PowerPoint presentation to confess his feelings to Youngjae. He didn’t do it, Youngjae doesn’t know why but he went for the other one instead. Youngjae wishes he hadn’t. He wishes Jaebeom had confessed to him.

He keeps trying to make sense of things. If Jaebeom liked him he shouldn’t have broken their little thing off. Or maybe he should, if he thought Youngjae wasn’t in love with him he was probably just hurting himself. And the way he said Youngjae didn’t love him. No, even the thought of Jaebeom suffering because of him makes Youngjae hurt as well. 

The thing is Youngjae doesn’t know what to do now. Apologizing doesn’t feel like enough. It’s just messed up to think Jaebeom has been feeling so hopeless for a while now and he even tried to confess to Youngjae, he went through a lot of trouble for them to get together. Youngjae wants to do something special. 

“I can make a PowerPoint presentation too, right?” He wonders out loud, considering his abilities. Youngjae hasn’t done anything like it in quite a while now, and he was never good with it in the first place. 

Still, he tries, Youngjae gets his laptop again and it takes ages for the screen to come to life. When he tries to make PowerPoint work his laptop crashes twice. He struggles with it for a long time ‘till he realizes he can just do it on his phone. Not that it makes a huge difference, sure his phone works better but Youngjae really struggles to make something that isn’t complete shit. 

Even adding pictures to it is a struggle at first, but once he gets the hang of it Youngjae is even taking selfies and adding them to the slides. He has fun with it, mostly, and it’s a good distraction but soon he doesn’t know what else to add or if it will work out at all. No matter how much Youngjae tries to keep going he can’t do it anymore, he just needs to try and solve things with Jaebeom already. 

Youngjae doesn’t bother with how late it is, he kisses Coco for good luck before leaving his house and walking the short way to Jaebeom’s place. He knocks, not sure if he is allowed to just enter unannounced considering the fact that they aren’t on good terms. The boy checks his phone and it’s past 1 in the morning, not even that late, Jaebeom is probably awake and it’s just letting Youngjae stand outside. 

It won’t be enough to stop him though. Youngjae had his hand on the knob when the door opened out of nowhere. 

“What do you want?” Jaebeom looks at Youngjae as if he would rather see anyone else but him. Youngjae on the other hand wants to just hug him and end all of this. 

His brain must be playing tricks on him, just about 48 hours since he has seen Jaebeom, and Youngjae can’t take his eyes off him, he just looks so good. He misses Jaebeom so much, it’s hard for him to act as if he is unbothered, he really isn’t. “Hum, I used your laptop for a paper I have to turn in and I need it… now,”

“I will send it to your email,” Jaebeom looks disappointed by that being what Youngjae had to say. He almost closes the door on Youngjae’s face but the boy passes by him quickly not leaving Jaebeom enough time to stop him. “Hey, I said I will send it to you,”

“Sorry, I need it now,” Youngjae walks into the house, entering Jaebeom’s room. His best friend following him closely. “So, I will just do that,” Youngjae mumbles, giving Jaebeom a tight smile but Jaebeom doesn’t smile back. 

Youngjae likes how it feels that he gets to enter Jaebeom’s room like this and turn his laptop on as if he owns the place, not that Jaebeom is happy about it but he isn’t stopping him. He considers it a win. 

Jaebeom stands at the door room with his arms crossed in front of his chest, looking at anything but at Youngjae. That won’t do. 

“Can you help me out here?”

“God, if I help you will you leave already?” Jaebeom walks up to him sitting on the chair next to Youngjae. He only has two chairs there because of Youngjae anyway. They sit next to each other and stare at the screen. “What do you need? Just send it to your email or whatever,”

“Actually…” Youngjae has saved the document to Jaebeom’s account, he clicks on it and steals a look at Jaebeom, he doesn’t think he notices anything different. “I have something to show to you,”

“I don’t wanna see anything--” Youngjae clicks on the file before Jaebeom can finish and just like on Jaebeom’s slides they are met with a pink background and black text. “What is this?”

“What the title says, pros and cons of dating Choir Youngjae, that’s me…” his slides aren’t even close to what Jaebeom has done. Youngjae realized Jaebeom has put lots of thought and work into what he made, he couldn’t do the same but he tried his best. “Let’s start with the cons,” 

The first slide has _‘CONS’_ on it and a selfie of Youngjae pouting, making a sad face. Jaebeom looks over at him as if to check if he just took that picture and sure enough he is wearing the same clothes. 

“First con: the asshole who broke your heart,” Youngjae read it out loud to him. He isn’t good with presentations and now he knows Jaebeom must have had a hard time, what with the judgy eyes he is getting from the other boy, it isn’t easy to do that. 

“I think that’s enough, breaking my heart is enough of a con, I don’t need any more,”

“No, hey. Watch it to the end,” but then the next slide is already the pros. 

“There is just one con, really?” Jaebeom smiles but when he catches Youngjae looking he stops. “Really, we don’t need to do this. I overreacted, you are not obligated to love me the same way I love you,”

“Hyung, please. Just take a look at the pros,” and different from the single con there are a bunch of pros. The first one is Youngjae assuring him he will never break his heart again, “I really won’t. I’m sorry for being so dumb and for hurting you, I promise I will never be like that again,”

Jaebeom just nods, Youngjae doesn’t know what it means so he keeps going. 

“I have a very good natural scent just like you. My hands are just the perfect size and shape to hold your small hands, they fit together perfectly. I can bake you whatever you want, if you date me I will bake you cheesecake at least once a week. I’ve been told my smile can brighten anyone’s day,” Youngjae is listing everything he put on the slides. Every topic has a picture next to it, be it of his hands or of his smile showing off his teeth. 

“It can,” Jaebeom agrees. 

“I’m very soft which makes me a perfect cuddling partner. I’ll take good care of you and help you with grocery shopping for the rest of our lives. We can also adopt as many animals as you you’d like to,”

“It seems more like a promise list than a pros list, are you sure you know how to make this thing?” Jaebeom doesn’t sound as mad as before, he doesn’t sound mad at all and he is even making eye contact with Youngjae. 

He is right, Youngjae doesn’t know how to make this, the slides are so ugly they don’t have little hearts like Jaebeom’s. Youngjae passes the other topics, they don’t matter until he finds the last picture. The one he found on Jaebeom’s unfinished project. 

“I don’t know if I have many pros, to be honest, I don’t know if it matters either. What I know is that I love you, Hyung. I’m sorry I let you believe I don’t, I really, really do. The Youngjae in this picture already loved you, this Youngjae,” he says pointing at himself, “still loves you. I will love you for a long time.”

Jaebeom stares at the picture, it’s like he is having a realization looking at it the same way Youngjae did. Then he looks at Youngjae, their eyes locked as he starts speaking again. “I love you. I didn’t fall for you because we were having sex. I’ve been in love with you for longer than I can remember, I just did all that because I wanted you to fall in love with me too. I wanted that but now I’m not sure if that was real or if I just messed things up,”

“What? Don’t say that!” Youngjae slaps Jaebeom’s hand that is resting on the desk harder than he intended to. “Sorry… but it was real. I love you, I’m in love with you and I didn’t fall just now. I’ve been in love for a long time too, didn’t you hear me? I just needed some help to figure it out,”

They stay quiet for a long time. It doesn’t feel like Youngjae just confessed, things are cold and they don’t feel right. He thinks he should give Jaebeom space, let him think, and then make a decision but Jaebeom doesn’t even look like he believes him.

Youngjae gets up so he can come over to Jaebeom, they are already sitting together, but he guesses they need more. He pushes Jaebeom and his chair so he can make room for himself as he sits on the other’s lap. Jaebeom is clearly shocked but Youngjae just sits on top of him, chest to chest. 

“Hyung, feel this,” Youngjae takes one of his hands and places it over his chest, his heart beating so fast it feels like it will explode. “This is not because I’m confused, or because we messed things up. This is because I’m in love with you, being near you does that to me,”

Jaebeom’s hand never leaves his chest, he probably can feel how his heartbeat keeps getting faster and faster. Youngjae slides his hands over Jaebeom’s arms, his shoulders and neck, ‘till he can hold Jaebeom’s face. 

“I will love you and you will let me, yeah? I’ll make it up to you for being so dumb, you just gotta let me,” 

Jaebeom closes his eyes and it’s the cutest thing Youngjae has ever seen. The way Jaebeom just lets him do whatever he wants, to close his eyes like that and just wait for Youngjae to do whatever he wants. 

So, Youngjae drops a chaste kiss to his lips feeling the small smile on them. 

“I’m sorry too. I wasn’t really flirting with anyone, I was just mad,” Jaebeom admits. Youngjae just nods, he isn’t mad anymore, he understands. 

“By the way, I also made you a voucher that gives you 10 wishes. You’re only getting it if you accept to be my own and only boo,” he declares, cringing at his own words but he knows Jaebeom likes stupid things like that. 

“Give me the voucher,” Jaebeom giggles, and hugging Youngjae close to him. He then pulls the boy in and kisses him again. Properly this time. “Love you,”

**Author's Note:**

> \- just wanted to comment that i posted my first fic here in december/2017,, 3 years??? 😳😳😳  
> \- also ive posted over 500k+ words now lol id like to share that ,,  
> \- anyways i will post new tlo still this year see whoever reads that soon i guess  
> \- take care and support the babies (got7)


End file.
